Raghad's point of view;
after spending the weekend with Ziyad i felt really good like distance won't change anything about our friendship and won't change anything about him treating me like his sister/best friend.
a few weeks later,
my relationship with Mohammed was getting stronger and i'm getting to know him better and better.
we've finally gone through the awkwardness phase, now i'm getting a little bit comfortable around him, we talked about our childhood and growing up, apparently his mother is american and he was born and raised in america, i thought it was pretty cool.
and we talked a bit more about our families and our love lives and colleges and all that stuff. the weird thing is i'm starting to trust him so maybe i'll finally tell him who i am. i hope i dont scare him off.
“mohammed i have a question for you”
“shoot” he replied instantly which made me nervous.
“okay so if i tell you who i am right now will you judge me for doing all this?”
“are you kidding me? of course not! and if you dont want to tell me i'm fine with that aham shai akalmk!”
“no i think i wanna tell you, i'm Raghad... Rahaf's friend”
he called me;
“so you are that freak kid i saw at the restaurant?” he asked
“ha ha! yeah that was me”
“can i tell you something but promise me you won't get mad and understand that what i'm about to tell you has happened a month ago”
“uh ga3d t5wfni m7md eesh hu?”
“9a7btk rahaf galt li enk bt7akeeni b fake account w hy eli galtlk tjen t7akeni and you were actually kind of using me to prove a point to her!”
“are you fucking serious right now?”
“you know i wouldn't lie to you, bas ma knt abi agolk mn awal 3shan law glt lk gabl ma tgolen li meen enti ymkn bt5afeen mni and you'll stop talking to me, so i was waiting for you to tell me, but dont worry, whatever happened between us, all the conversations are between us, no one knows about them, not even rahaf”
wow... this is too much to take in, i mean.... Rahaf have betrayed me and Mohammed is being so nice about this that i cant actually get mad over the whole rahaf thing... i'll just forget about it for now..
“shukran mohammed you're really sweet” i said blushing.
“mn jdk enti ma beena! and you're so nice that people like rahaf dont deserve you.”
“ma a3rif eesh agol.”
“there's only one thing to say”
“and what it is?”
“i love you?” he sarcastically said
“i hate you!” i laughed
“you know that Big Sean said that girls only say hate you to the guys that they like”
“bullshit! he doesn't know anything about love!” i said
“ha ha ha so you're admitting that what you have for me is love?”
oopsie... i stayed quite for seconds not knowing what to say...
“haa haaa?? yalla e3trfi walla mara7 a'67ak 3laik!”
“w laish bt'67ak 3li ya 7ywan!”
“enti el 7ywana”
“7ywan”
“7ywana”
“perhaps 7ywan will be our always.”
“laaaa ma tw83tk bhathi el dnaa2a w el w6awa”
two hours passed, and we were still on the phone.
“raghad can i tell you something? and this time its your turn not to judge me!”
“yumma what is it?”
“i like you, a lot. i liked you even before i knew who you are, i crave you i want to know everything about you. like with you, i can talk about anything that crosses my mind and i wont worry if you think its stupid or childish, i mean, how amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the crap that goes through your mind?”
not THAT is too much to take in.
“mohammed you know i'm not the type of person someone falls in love with..”
“raghad esm3eeni 7abebi, i swear to god i only want this with you, i've never wanted anything more than this.”
“what do you mean “this””?
“you know what i mean! a relationship with you”
“uhhh... madre i'm confused..”
“and god your voice.. you dont have any idea what your voice does to me”
my tummy was doing the butterflies thing again and i'm not liking it again, i'm grinning and i'm happy and i have no idea what to say. this guy just poured his heart out to me and i dont know what to say.
“madri..”
“its okay we can take things slow, i know that this is going to be your first time trying this and i dont want to scare you, and i promise you i'm worth it. i wont let you regret any second you spend talking to me”
“hahaha yeah i highly doubt that”
and just like that... me and Mohammed became a couple... well i guess? or are we still friends? damn i'll just go with the flow.
| — |
Madhawi's point of view;
this thing has been driving me insane, its literally getting on my last nerve.
i mean, i've been always the one with the late replies, the short answers, the silent treatments...
why Ziyad is doing all of these things to me? i mean i haven't done anything wrong at all, or have i? i haven't done anything at all!!! and its making me lose my mind..
and my pride is stopping me from talking to him a7s'ha ehana li etha a7ad sa7b 3li w r7t klmta, mu mt3wda 3ala ketha, fa ma klmtah ella marrah wa7da mn ba3ad ma bda el jnoon 7gah w s7ab 3li
i was at anoud's house, and we were hanging out in her sister's room. anoud and her sister were playing Saudi Deal and i was drifting with all these thoughts..
“m'6awi bala s5afa emshi el3bi” her sister said
“hu ana law bal3ab bkasir rooskom kilkum bs krman mni mara7 al3ab.”
“la t9adgeen nafsk bas w emshi el3bi” anoud said
“la walla mali 5lg”
“ella sha5bar Ed lal7en silent treatment 7gh mashi?” the sister asked
“lisa mashi lil asaf”
yep her sister is that close to me that she knows almost everything about my life, she's like the older sister i've never had, i really like hanging out at their house, it feels like home more than my original home. does that even make sense to you.. idk.
Anoud sat next to me on the sofa,
“feek shai?”
“la ma feni shai, esm3u bas2alkum, kaif t5alon walad y7bkum? su2al marrah bay5 bs 9dg kaif?” i asked the both of them.
“b9ra7a ana kil ma zbdt lil walad akthar kil ma 5ag 3li w nshb li akthr” her sister said
“ma3laik mnha thi la tsm3en klamha, bt6yr mnk kil walad b n9ay7ha el '3abya”
“la mn jid mn jid esm3uni ya3ni law yjek walad kil el banat 5agen 3leh w shayf nafsah w jeti enti zbadti lh, ttw83on mara7 y9er yb'3akum akthar?”her sister explained
well, that kind of made sense to me, but its not like that with ziyad, ziyad is not chased by a lot of girls..
i dont know, maybe i have to try this?
anoud made fun of her sister's love advice and she thought it was the stupidest thing.
“bagolk shai” anoud said
“wshu”
“leesh ma tgolen l ziyad enk tbeenh? y3ni entu tsoolfon 6oul el wagt w tafkeerkom zai ba3a'6 w tnbs6oon lma tklmoun b3'6, mn eesh 5ayfa?”
that was a bit unexpected.
“5li kil shai 3ala janb, enti 3adi 3ndk eni ta8reeban bdet a7ibah w mara7 tz3len law y9er shai beena?”
“haw mn jdk tgolen ketha? 6ab3an 3adi w ana mu tafha az3al mn ashya2 zai ketha, b3den ana a9lan ma 9dgt alga lk wa7d 3ajbk”
anoud hates these kind of situations so she always says something funny and starts insulting me when she starts feeling uncomfortable, i find it very hilarious.
after that, i instantly unlocked my phone and started texting ziyad, i just miss him too much.
our chat was kind of lame and cold, so i decided to take anoud's sister advice.
“leesh 9ayr ma tmsk jawalk abad”
“walla ensh'3lt m3 el jam3a w ketha”
“bellah la tsawi nafsk kbeer”
“lol?”
okay okay that went wrong... let me try this again.
“Ziyad leesh 7a6 thil 9oura whatsapp marra sheena”
“enti 6fshana w jaya t7arsheen wla wsh g9tk?”
i think what anoud's sister meant was talk to him with a little bit of attitude not be a complete bitch to him.
okay now let's try to follow anoud's advice without actually messing this up.
“okay i'm sorry ziyad, what i'm trying to say is that i like you ziyad, this is why it never worked out with any other guy, because they're not like you, and this is why i cant talk to any other guy now, because you're in the picture.”
wow i could honestly be a poet.
“i like you too madhawi, no in fact i love you, but you're too good for dating me and you know i'm really busy these days cause i'm moving to sharjah soon and in the same time i dont want to lose our friendship it means the world to me”
“i love you so much you're my princess”
“ma abeek tz3leen ya galbi bs ma abi akathb 3laik kaman”
i just got rejected from the guy that i like and it doesn't even hurt, not a little, i love how sweet he treats me. and i dont mind being friends with him for now, yep for now only.
--
three months later;
Raghad's point of view;
we just got back from a club from a club to Mohammed's apartment, we were with his friends and their girlfriends.
as soon as we entered the apartment, two of the guys went straight to the bathroom to throw up, three of them went to sleep.
so now its just me, Mohammed and his friend and the friend's girlfriend.
we were chilling and listening to music, nobody's talking, nobody is ruining this relaxing moment for anybody.
i was laying on the sofa, my body is numb and heavy and my head is spinning but i'm loving this feeling.
my phone started ringing and i picked it up to see who's calling because its 3am, who calls on three in the morning?
it was ziyad.
“hey”
“hala walla raghad kaifk galbi?
“el7amdella ana kwaisa el7amdella”
“6yb a39abk” he started laughing. “esm3i ba5ith rayk b shai greeb 9arli”
“okay wshu”
“awal shai eesh feh 9outik?”
Mohammed and his friend were whispering things to each other and then they started laughing.
“haw raghad enti mu bil bait?”
i didn't answer him
“raghad. waink. bsr3a?” he paused between each word
“bil bait”
“badg 3ala telephone el bait rdi al7en”
“are fucking insane? gltlk ana bil bait dont be so skeptical”
“raghad o8sem bellah law ma tgolen li waink badg 3ala omk w agol lha”
i hung up...
--
madhawi's point of view;
i was at the airport with my grandmother, my aunt, and my cousin,
we were going to Greece, its kind of a family trip.
we gont on the plane and i was seated next to my cousin and she's the quiet kind of person and i appreciated the silence for now.
i layed back and my mind started wandering, i thought about the things that have happened to me in the past three months,
when i first talked to ziyad, when i first met, i remember when his personality to me was so intriguing, he was the most compelling guy i've ever met.
after opening up to him and telling him about how i really felt, he told me that he loved me but he wasn't ready for a relationship,
well i wanted to see if he really loved me or was he only saying that because he felt bad for rejecting me,
so i started telling him about the guys that i liked, the guys that flirted with me, the guys that begged me for my attention,
and his response was “bashri omk”
so i dont really know if he got jealous or not..
hours later, we got to the hotel and we checked in, my cousin and i were in a suite and my grandmother and aunt were in another.
i got to the suite and went to the balcony and checked my phone to see if there was any missed calls, there was, but none were from Ziyad
what a bummer.
so i decided to make the move and call him, it was ringing..
“hala”
“ahlan kaifk?”
“el7amdella w enti?”
“mashi el 7al”
awkward silence...
“ziyad ab'3a akalmk fi maw'6oo3”
“m'6awi mali mzaj al7en ajleh lba3den”
“leeh eesh fek?”
“mshakil 3a2ila”
“ma3 meen?”
he sighed. “my cousin”
“raghad?”
“eeh”
he told me about his cousin a couple of times, he told me that they were very close to each other.
“okay i'm here if you need to talk”
“eeh wa'67”
“eesh ga9dk?”
“wala shai”
“la goul?”
“ga9di ena mn ba3d ma glti li that you like me w enti sa7ba 3li, w ttklmen 3an 3yal gdami, mabso6a fehum marrah? w awal kan kil shai y9eer li enti awal mn yadri 3nh al7en 7ayati kilha ma tdren 3nha wala shai, bdait ashk enk ma glti li that you like me ella bas ketha knti 6fshana.”
ba3d kil hatha ygoul li ketha..
i've had enough with his bullshit.
“mn jdk ent? ent eli sa7b 3li wla tklmni 6oul thil fatra, w leesh ga3d tkabir el mushkla? i was just being nice to you!” i imploded.
“this is you being nice to me?” he laughed. “ la ma kbart el mushkila hy ma kant la kbera wla 9'3eera bas abi atklm feha, w fi ashya2 tgolenha li mal omha da3i wdi amskk w al3an jdfk 3laiha.”
now he crossed the line and he's being rude to me.
“you know what? i'm done with this, i dont want to talk about it anymore i've had enough”
“no you must talk about it, do you wanna work it out between us or not?”
“i. told. you. i'm. done. with. this”
“ok you should've told me this before, bye”
and he hung up
i was so pissed off, words cant describe how pissed off i was, its like a part of me is so mad at him and the other part knew that i'm going to regret ending it like that.
my throat hurts and i was about to cry, i held it all in and said to myself “yarab ya kreem j3l eli swah feni y9er l agrab sha59 lh w a3z sha59 3ala galbh.”
--
i haven't talked to Ziyad after what happened yesterday, i'm too scared to talk to him.
i went to my room and started packing for my trip with my family to the US, we're leaving in three days.
i got bored from packing, called the maid and told her to finish packing for me.
i changed my clothes and went to Mohammed's
-
we were all at the airport, we were sitting in a cafe waiting for them to announce our flight.
“halaa walla taw ma nwart kil el emarat” my father said to someone standing behind me.
i knew it was him, i turned around saw him.
“mnawra feek 3ami” Ziyad said and kissed my father's forehead.
my mother was sitting next to me “byji m3na?” i whispered to her
“eeh” she looked so happy to see her favorite in the family.
“leesh ma gltoli?” almost shouting
“kan ybi ysawelk mufaj2a” she turned and she has a weird expression on her face “w eesh feeha law ja m3na? la ykon ma tbeenh wla mt6agen?"
“la 5alti shda3wa nt6ag bs t3rfen bntk dalo3a w ma t7b a7ad yhawsh'ha lma t'3l6” he was looking at me and he tone was telling me “e9bri 3li ya kalba ana awarek”
“baba 5ala9 mabi arou7 america” i said
“hathi eli za3jtna 3ala america bil a5er tgolen ketha?” my father said laughing
“wshu hu bait 9a7btk 3shan 3ala a5r shai tgolen mabi arou7? eg'6bi ar'6k bas” my mom punished me
Ziyad laughed.
we got on the plane, and guess what? ziyad was seated next to me. ughh its gonna be a very long flight.
he sat next to me and closed his eyes and tried to sleep with his headphones on.
i was relieved, he's not gonna lecture me the whole flight. maybe he forgot about what happened? or believed that i was actually home?
“la t7asbeeni nsait eli 9ar, bs sh'3lk b3dain mub al7en”
and no he didn't..
days passed by, nothing really happened, ziyad was ignoring me all the time, and i was happy with it, i hope he continues on ignoring me and let me enjoy my time.
after having breakfast with my family i went back to the apartment to get changed and go to the movie and i was taking my time getting ready cause i already bouhht the tickets.
suddenly ziyad entered my room
“emshi m3ak bagolk shai"
i tried to act strong “i already made plans, 5alha ba3den”
“wsh hy el plans 7agtk ya3ni? btro7en tshofen movie? wow what a fun plan. emshi bas astnak bilsyara”
ugh i hate being forced to do something that i dont want to do.
i got in his car and he was smoking, he knows that i hate the smell of the cigarettes and he didn't even respect that.
he started the car and drove, we arrived to what looks like a park? i looked at him waiting for his explanation, but he ignored me and went out of the car.
i followed him and found him sittig on a bench, i sat beside him.
we stayed quiet for minutes and my patience was running out.
“so?”
“sjltk bjam3a hena w btbden b3d esbu3een” he said
“kaif ya3ni?”
“you're not coming back with us.”
“if this is one of your sick jokes tara ma y'6a7ik!” i got up.
he held my hand and motioned me to sit down.
“enti tdreen ana lesh swait ketha, w enti tdreen ena akthar shai akrhah b7yati hu el 5mr w tdreen eni amyz been 6regt kalam el sakran w 6regt kalam el 9a7i l2n aboy kan yrja3 lna el bait kil youm sakran, w tdreen eni t38dt mnh mn ba3d ma kan shwai w y6g omi, enti akthar ensana tdreen 3an kil hathi el ashya2” a tear rolled down his cheeck “w ma3 thalk r7ti w shrbti! w foug hatha kilah shrabti m3 3yal!!!”
i didn't realize that i was crying, he's right! i'm such a bitch for doing this to him, love wasn't supposed to make you feel like this, its not supposed to make you lose your best friend, its not supposed to change who you are. it was supposed to be innocent this is all rahaf's fault... no its my fault. i should've never let what she said get to me, so what if i dont know how to talk to boys! bo big deal, its not the end of the world.
“ziyad i'm sorry” now i'm sobbing
“3adi” he's not looking at me
“ziyad look at me i'm really sorry! i'm stupid for doing all these things i'm sorry i dont want to lose you”
he laughed “its too late for that”
--
Madhawi's point of view;
i came back from greece two days ago, surprisingly, i had a lot of fun with my family, my fun to be around grandmother, my funny aunt and my interesting cousin, we went to all these fun places, and thanks to my family, it was a good trip.
and Ziyad, we never talked after what happened. it was after months of silence that I realised we make better strangers than we ever did anything else.
today i'm going to anoud's i haven't seen her in a month. i miss her so much. and her cousins are coming too, i've seen them once or twice. they're nice.
i got there early cause i wanted to talk to anoud on private, i told her about what happened and she thinks that i did the right thing. i'm glad she thinks so.
her cousins came and i talked to them for a bit and then they started talking about things that i'm not interested in.
until one of them, Meshael, said something that grabbed my attention. “eeh w raghad t'thkronha? 9degtna el sabak, t5ylu 6l3t mn t7t lt7t 7rkatha! m7md gal li ena her cousin gf6ha 3ala shrb w 6l3at m3 3yal w 5rab” they all started insulting her saying what a bitch she is, and they don't even know her. which pissed me off a little bit.
“meen her cousin?” i asked.
“yazeed madri ziyad. madri nsait”
so i guess its true what they say, what goes around really comes back around.
تمت.
-
i hope you like it because this is my last story. send me your feedbacks for the last time on www.ask.fm/jayxxv
